“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.

“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.

“A good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually . . . → Read More: IRS Audit]]> Internal Revenue Service sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”

“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.

“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.

“A good question,” noted the Rabbi.  “We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he’d try another question, in his obnoxious way…

“Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?

“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi calmly, “we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.

“Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?”

“Yes, here too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to Internal Revenue Service.”

“To the Internal Revenue Service?” questioned the auditor in disbelief.

“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, “directly to IRS… And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you.”

A seagull in Aberdeen, Scotland, has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.

The seagull waits until the manager isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos. Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds…

Get the true story on Snopes.com.

After serious & cautious consideration . . .

Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

My Wish for You in 2009

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the . . . → Read More: Contract 2009]]> Really great New Year’s wish from my Aunt Denise!

After serious & cautious consideration . . .

Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

My Wish for You in 2009

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words . . .. May 2009 be one of the best years of your life!!!